Being In Command: A More Balanced Perspective Can Be Liberating

Are you truly objectively directing your life as an individual master? Or are you simply subjectively reacting to others and then justifying and rationalizing such reactions subconsciously as a social slave?

In all probability, you have experienced moments in your life when you have had your perceptions of other individuals preoccupy space and time in your mind and emotionally distract you from being fully present. When this happens, you became temporarily run by your subjectively-biased perceptions of others around you. Many of your everyday emotional reactions can actually emerge from these subconsciously-stored encounters that you may have misperceived subjectively to be solely or predominantly pleasurable or painful instead of more objectively neutral, which such encounters eventually reveal themselves to be.

An encounter that may initially be consciously perceived to be solely terrific or terrible can over a day, a week, a month, a year or five years reveal its other, initially unconscious, side. But why wait to gain the wisdom of the ages through the aging process when you can have the wisdom of the ages without it? Why not look for both sides synchronously and liberate enormous amounts of so-called subconscious, disempowered suffering?

Whenever you subjectively distort your perceptions of others and become infatuated, attracted, enamored or obsessed and see them only or predominantly one-sided, they can begin to preoccupy and dominate your mind and subconsciously run your life. Conversely, whenever you subjectively distort your perceptions of others and become resentful, repelled, disgusted or angry and again see them only or predominantly one-sided, they can also begin to preoccupy and dominate your mind and subconsciously run your life.

Anytime you unwisely put others up on pedestals or down in pits and become infatuated with or resent them, they can distract your mind, generate electronic brain noise and activate your amygdala’s desire centers. This can impulsively make you seek these individuals or can instinctively make you avoid them before you are even fully conscious of your behavior. Only when you have a perfectly and synchronously balanced perception of others and see them objectively as whole and equilibrated are you set free from such biased judgments and subconscious emotional reactions that can so easily and insidiously run your life.

If I approached you, introduced myself and then suddenly and heroically praised you with a serial biased statement such as: You are always positive, never negative; always kind, never cruel; always nice and never mean; always giving, never taking; always generous, never stingy; always considerate, never inconsiderate and always peaceful, never wrathful, you would immediately have your intuitive bullshit meter go off inside your brain/mind. You would think of the times when you acted out the exact opposite roles of what I just unwisely assumed and carefully projected. You would not have certainty about the heroic image that I unthoughtfully projected onto you. Certainty within will not spontaneously emerge with such a one-sided, subjectively-biased view.

And, if I approached you, introduced myself and then suddenly and villainously reprimanded you with a serial biased statement such as: You are always negative, never positive; always cruel, never kind; always mean and never nice; always taking, never giving; always stingy, never generous; always inconsiderate, never considerate, and always wrathful, never peaceful, you would also immediately have your intuitive bullshit meter go off inside your brain/mind. You would think of the times when you acted out the opposite roles of what I just unwisely assumed and carelessly projected. You would not have certainty about the villainous image that I unthoughtfully projected onto you.  Again, certainty within will not spontaneously emerge with such a one-sided, subjectively-biased view.

But, if I approached you, introduced myself and then suddenly and more respectfully described you with a serial statement such as: You are sometimes positive and sometimes negative, sometimes kind and sometimes cruel, sometimes nice and sometimes mean, sometimes giving and sometimes taking, sometimes generous and sometimes stingy, sometimes considerate and sometimes inconsiderate, and sometimes peaceful and sometimes wrathful, you would immediately have your equilibrating intuition inside your mind think of the specific times when you acted out both complementary opposite roles of what I just more wisely and caringly projected. You would now have certainty about the more balanced and objective image that I thoughtfully projected onto you. Certainty spontaneously emerges in such a balanced view and mind.

Absolutes in perceptions are infinitely improbable, subjectively-biased and unrealistic projections you can sometimes unwisely impose onto other individuals. More balanced objective perceptions are more probable and realistic and can liberate you from the noise that emerges in your brain/mind from such unwise absolutes.

When you are more balanced and objective with your perceptions, you bring blood, glucose and oxygen to your forebrain’s executive center and awaken greater self-governance and more fully super-conscious or transcendent actions. When you are imbalanced or subjective with your perceptions, you bring blood glucose and oxygen to your amygdala and hindbrain impulse and instinct centers and bring about subconsciously-originating emotional reactions. The former empowers you and allows you to run you. The latter disempowers you and allows you to be run from the world or others about.

Ultimately, through time or inward presence you wisely learn that no other individual is worth putting up on a pedestal or down into a pit; no one is worth infatuating with or resenting, but everyone is worth putting in your heart. You may momentarily be too humble, or too proud, to admit what you see in others is actually already inside you. It may simply be in a form that has so far eluded you, but nothing is actually missing within the vast and whole you. You are both the hero and the villain, the saint and the sinner, the virtuous and the vicious, and so are all those around you in different place and times.

You do not have to hopefully acquire or get rid of any part of yourself to fully love yourself. You deserve to be loved as you are and as the whole. Since the world of others around you is a reflection of the world within you, by asking intuitive questions that allow you to see both sides synchronously, you can center yourself and masterfully run your own life. You are here to be an objective master of your destiny, not a subjective victim of your history. So take command of yourself by balancing your view and opening your heart to your own and other’s full magnificence.

Dr. John Demartini is the founder and CEO of the Demartini Institute, a human behavioral specialist, international bestselling author, educator and consultant. For more information, visit DrDemartini.com.

About The Author

Dr. John Demartini

Dr. John Demartini, one of the world's leading authorities and educators on human behavior and leadership development, is the founder of the Demartini Institute, which offers an extensive curriculum of more than 76 courses on self-development, life mastery and leadership. Demartini's knowledge is the culmination of 46-plus years of cross-disciplinary research, and he travels internationally full time, addressing audiences in media, seminars and consultations. He is the author of more than 40 self-development books, including the bestseller The Breakthrough Experience, and he has produced numerous audio CDs, DVDs and online programs discussing financial and business mastery, relationship development, health and healing, the art of communication and inspiring education and leadership. Demartini has been featured in film documentaries such as “The Secret,” “The Opus,” and “Oh My God” alongside Ringo Starr, Seal and Hugh Jackman. He has also shared the stage with influential educators Stephen Covey, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Steve Wosniak, Tony Fernandez and Donald Trump. He has appeared on “Larry King Live,” “The Early Show” and “Wall Street,” as well as in the publications Shape, Leadership, Success, Prestige, Entrepreneur and O. For editorial consideration, please contact [email protected](dot)com.

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